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Meet Caroline Ficher

Interview filmed by: Angela Yandell, Makaila Jordan, and Cashae Louden 

Edited By: Angela Yandell

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SpongeBob Moron-Pants

Think of a cartoon of the new millennium and try not to let, “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?” scream out inside your head. SpongeBob SquarePants debuted in 1999, and like several other children across the US, I was sitting right in front of the television waiting. The very first episode, Tea at the Tree-Dome, ­introduced three of the main characters: SpongeBob, of course, Patrick, and Sandy. I watched on in amusement as the quirkiness ensued. My twin-sister and I became loyal fans from day one.

First, a little back story. SpongeBob is a yellow, talking sponge similar to the one you might wash your dishes with. Only a true fan can tell you he was born in 1986, as revealed by a glimpse of his driver’s license in one episode, but I digress. This 29-year-old sponge works as a fry cook in a fast-food restaurant ran by a “crustaceous cheapskate,” Mr. Krabs.

His best friends are Patrick Star, a dimwitted, fun-loving starfish, and Sandy Cheeks, a southern bread, karate-chopping, scientific squirrel. Perhaps the best character of all is Squidward. He is not only SpongeBob’s co-worker, but lives smack in the middle of him and Patrick. Squidward is best summarized as the job-loathing, pessimistic, yet relatable octopus/squid with six legs. SpongeBob and Patrick are always pestering him, involuntarily including him in their antics.

SpongeBob SquarePants quickly became one of the greats. According to adage.com, “Although it debuted to middling ratings in July 1999, it soared past "Rugrats" as the network's highest-rated show of all time within a year. By 2001, SpongeBob was starring in his first "Got Milk?" ad, followed by three more years of growing popularity, which resulted in the $86 million-grossing "SpongeBob SquarePants: The Movie."

All good things end, and thus, so did the era of SpongeBob. Despite Nickelodeon’s refusal to let the show die with some dignity, the quality of this once beloved, happy-go-lucky cartoon has diminished beyond belief. No more is SpongeBob the quirky, friendly, loving, and just the right amount of stupid, character he used to be. The same can be said for every character. Patrick used to be the unbelievably stupid one, even over SpongeBob, but we adored his pretentiousness at the appropriate times.

For example, in the episode Suds, SpongeBob gets sick and while getting ready to go to the doctor, is intervened by Patrick. Patrick tells him that the doctor is a bad place where they do unspeakable things to you:

SpongeBob: I’m sick, Patrick. I’m going to the doctor.

Patrick: What? Oh no, you can’t go!

SpongeBob: Why not?

Patrick: I know a guy who knows a guy who went to the doctor, and the doctor’s office is a horrible, horrible place.

SpongeBob: It can’t be as horrible as the suds.

[Sneezes]

Patrick: Oh, it is, SpongeBob. First, they make you sit in a. . . waiting room!

SpongeBob: Is that the horrible part?

Patrick: No, it gets worse. They make you read. . . old magazines!

[SpongeBob shrieks]

Patrick: Then the doctor pulls out his stethoscope.

SpongeBob: No!

Patrick: Yes! It’s a device so sinister, so icy cold when it touches your bare flesh that. . . Pssh!

SpongeBob: Aaah! No doctor! No stethoscope! No magazines! No Pssh! Patrick, I don’t want to go to the doctor.

Patrick: Exactly.

Thus, Patrick offers to treat SpongeBob himself and ends up making him worse. After battling with Sandy, Sandy winning and taking SpongeBob to get treated, Patrick gets his comeuppance. SpongeBob’s treatments entails the character being depicted as a sponge that a hand is using to clean various things, which in turn makes him better. Patrick gets the same treatment after seeing the lollipop SpongeBob is rewarded with, and then pretending he has the suds too. We get to see Patrick as a real starfish while a hand uses him to clean various surfaces: a toilet, a man’s hairy back, etc. Patrick gets what he deserves, but it’s funny and lighthearted.

Even when Patrick exploited SpongeBob in the, I’m With Stupid episode, it was nothing like now. Patrick is just mean, and for no particular reason. No longer is he just trying to look out for his friend, and his ignorance causes the issues. No, now he doesn’t apologize, and he doesn’t get his comeuppance. He is blatantly obnoxious and rude.

The same can be said for SpongeBob. He is unbearably stupid now. Unlike the former character who was only ignorant of the crudeness of the real world, this one is just childishly senseless. He frolics for no reason, sticks his legs in deep fryers for God knows what reason, and basically just annoys his friends and audience alike. It isn’t funny, and it isn’t cute. Not only that, but the writers of new SpongeBob seem to think the only humor, apart from blatant foolishness, that appeals to its viewers is shocking, gross, and downright repugnant imagery. They go above and beyond immaturity with the characters themselves with this off-putting animation. There is an entire episode dedicated to SpongeBob and his splinter. It grows more and more repugnant over the course of the episode. Needless to say, those eleven minutes will have viewers struggling not to retch. Hello, not everything disgusting is funny!

Old SpongeBob SquarePants used to have just the right amount of wit, and juvenile yet relate-able humor. It was perfect for mature and young audiences. This is no longer the case. It’s so obvious the show has died. The writers are now recycling old episodes, ruining all that which is held sacred by the show’s original viewers. I would beg and plead Nickelodeon let this show die, but it’s too late. This generation of children are already being corrupted by it. It’s already disgusted those who once loved it. Might as well just milk it until you can’t anymore. Thank you, Nickelodeon, for ruining what was once the best cartoon of all time.

If only this were a Doodle-Bob situation:

SpongeBob on IMBD 

Reference